Surfing the Timeless Wave
This book has been written to introduce the first year and a half of meditation sessions that the writer, Fritz Hudnut, DAOM, L.Ac., attended with Mr. YH Kim–self-described simply as a, “helper.” It is based on notes taken during or soon after a series of tri-weekly meetings with him that occurred in 2000 and 2001 at Emperor’s College in Santa Monica, CA. The core intent of his sharing demonstrated the real “zen” aspiration of living fully in the eternal Now–for meditation in daily life. As such, for this writer it started a process of finding, not seeking, a way in to life and then on to approaching the infinite reality that deeply supports all life. Those first sessions were spoken mostly in Korean with translation made roughly into English. This writer has attempted to reproduce the meaning and intent of those words so that others might learn to share the miracle that is freely available to anyone interested in contacting Life in its ultimate expressions.
Vol 1 Samples
So we do need to ask the question of where exactly is our ultimate “home” and what is the core understanding that can assist us in cleaving closer to that reality (which is the unknown) at all times. This is the preferred choice versus following the endless concretized paths of the already known that have been walked by other wandering souls on this Earth. Additionally, we should ask ourselves how we can consciously connect to that source easily, quickly, with minimum effort expended in the Doing state; and then we might think about how to stay with that state of connectedness through our daily life. Our relationship with our daily existence is the key to developing insight that can be transposed or experimented with in our “meditation” efforts–the relationship with our life is our jihad, to make proper use of that word–which literally means spiritual effort or focusing. Daily life is the test-tube in which is developed one’s understanding/distinction between cause and effect–to clearly know what is the dream and what is not . . . . The dream-life we have endured for millennia contains innumerable cruelties perpetuated against all manner of our fellow beings that share this time-space with us so that some small pleasure, happiness, or the elusive–freedom–might be taken from within that somnambulant existence and held for a brief moment. In the name of permanence this type of human endeavor has led to our heaping waste upon waste in perpetuity, and yet we call it “living.”
But in the ceaselessly flowing river of Existence how can any trail be held or maintained permanently for us to follow? Any footprint made in the river of time is washed clean instantly, and what place is available to post any directional marker in what Mr J. Krishnamurti called the “pathless land of Truth”? And who is it that is actually there to follow if we could? Instead we insist on believing that we can hold onto the endless flux of time, forever; or we think that there is something that needs to be “done” here, some payment to be made before we can meet Godhead, etc. These are some of the many variations on that theme espoused by religious theoreticians or philosophers of all sort. “And yet,” as Krishnamurti said, “we suffer.” What are those chains that bind us to our suffering?
End excerpt from Prologue . . . written by:
October 14, 2009
24). April 24,’01 ECTOM w/YHK:
A). Sit comfortably–can you make your mind comfortable, the same as when you sit down when tired–same method, can you rest your mind? Can you make your mind comfortable when it’s not, just like we can make our body comfortable when it’s not? Do we need permit? Are you the owner or the renter of your body? If you can’t do comfortable mind where did that notion of “I can’t do it” come from? Did it come from an experience of failing to do it in the past? Would you like to change your life? To change, you have to know one secret–we can change our state–it is one decision to do the new. Do you seriously want to change, or are you just doing change like you change your clothes, one time a day? Do you know we have a choice in how we can focus for changing our state? Is that choice for change just a dream to you? Actually, our “daily reality” is more fantasy than dream, can you understand that? In reality we can do a lot more than we do in dream, because dream is only a part of our life.
Is it possible to change our state to the direction we want, without doing or study–immediately? Within your experience that may not be possible, but that is not Universal Truth, only our individual experience. Can you be comfortable and at peace, right now, or do you want “step by step”? We are Free to choose at every moment, no one can do it for you. Do you use that privilege? Let’s try now. Don’t try to study or learn anything–use your self directly, not some method. Choose, do you want Peace, in the future or now; to select between whether we have distance or no distance–we are Free, to choose. Do you want to have less than a second, five minutes, or one year?–with no conditions, make your decision NOW–but don’t expect, give the order to your self.
B). Do you think your “inside” is dark? You can make it bright gradually like sunrise or immediately; what do you feel, now? Did you sincerely use your self; did you “really try,” or did you directly DO it? As you gave an order to your self could you trust your self, or did you think, “It’s not really possible,” but then try anyway? We don’t need to trust or confirm, we just need to want strongly, and make a strong decision to use your self, now. What do you think about the fact that it is your choice? For example, when you suffer or are sad, who’s choice is it? Given the same set of conditions we can react or translate in many ways; however, we usually choose one–i.e., suffering. But, we choose without choosing consciously; that is because we don’t choose Joy, we get suffering. We don’t choose light, so we get dark; then we think that it is “not our choice,” but really it is like a choice, it is just done without consciousness.
Vol 2 Samples
What is it about the human mind that causes it to crave for something beyond this world and yet for the most part is incapable of taking action for that in any complete way, if in any way at all; where that vision is most often left to the power of “hope” or “expectation”? For example, when we think of “transformation” what do we think constitutes the experience that is to be transformed and that which is not? Where or to whom do we look for real guidance as far as the living and understanding of our lives goes? Usually our model for living is from something that has already been done; that means it is taken from the past and re-applied to the present situation. We follow the precepts and models that have been previously used; indeed that works to some extent to make our life “easier” since we don’t have to think on those things anymore, but it also serves to end our contact with the living moment and creates a life that is lived separately from the dynamic moment, as it is happening, to one that is lived almost entirely in thought, since we have to remember what was done to do it, before doing it, etc.
It is in our thoughts that we live through the biologic filter of the “I am doing this and later I’ll be doing that” narrative of our life rather than living our life contacted directly as real action itself–but, “We don’t know what that is” because our mind tells us what we are thinking is not only real, but is itself our total reality.
Setting aside discussion of real action, it is this concept of “living directly” that is another “gore point” in our life that causes misunderstanding or conflict among people in epic proportion. Among other issues, the concept of “direct living” is heavily clouded by the death experience. We know that our physical body ends in death, the mind also knows that it, or its expressions of itself in thoughts, ends with it; therefore we identify with that final psycho-somatic experience as the “end of life” and that enhances our need to “double down” on those experiences as our contact point with life. So, the mind believes that “direct contact” with life means that to have more and more unique experiences, to have more Facebook friends, to travel to more places, or to eat more food in foreign lands would all be signs of more contact, of a great connection to living. The human mentality posits the upwardly mobile “life well lived” approach as being better than living a life on the opposite polar extreme of financial want, as though there is only one or the other to choose from; it categorizes the range of life’s experiences into the “good/bad” subjective scale model of “reality” and sees a life with some missed financial opportunities, failed relationships, or bad cars in particular, as “bad”–as opposed to “a little interesting.”
Finally it seems that the Earth itself (as opposed to just its wild inhabitants) is having a hard time continuing with the level of consumption that the human being needs to support its many desires, and yet we are still pushing for more and more unique experiences to be taken from it without regard for the consequences of our actions; and we just want to continue over and over again what we have done before–“because it’s our life and we need to live it before we die.” Yes, we should enjoy living our life, even the most dedicated to the religious life among us should enjoy what we are doing in this world; but we should also clearly understand what real Joy is–Joy comes from itself, not from some experiences of enjoy-ment as we see around us in the media . . . . Joy is eternal, enjoyment comes and goes. For most people the Joyful moment, the religious moment is a once a week thing, or even if it’s a five times a day thing, it’s still in a separate or defined “spiritual” area, it’s not a continuous connection to the here/now Joyful moment–as it is happening–it’s a weekend seminar or a trip to the temple or mosque; that means that the Joyful moment to most people is in the away/other area and is therefore not the as-it-is religious moment of our Ultimate reality. To touch that level of reality requires deep transformation through a sustained living connection to our moment to moment existence . . . if that connection comes and goes it is not the movement of real action, it remains only “in our mind.”
End excerpt from Prologue . . . written by:
September 1, 2011
40). February 7, ‘05 (residence #4)(group):
The purpose for using the question method, meaning the why for the questions that we ask of ourselves in (sitting) meditation experiment, is to break the continuity of the relativity system; also to see that it is in the gap between the [continuous moments of] conditional reality where we can be with Reality; as well as to understand that all we can know is not [our ultimate] reality. We can use the questioning style as a “compass,” to guide us to the Self; [that] is to ask a question to which the answer will be “no” or “non-applicable” –e.g., “Is this the freedom area?” or “Am I here now?”–then we don’t need to answer ourselves, just stay with the question and be the answer. Use a question as a compass for truth and don’t worry about the rest, e.g., “enlightenment,” “Tao,” etc, that will take care of itself. The questioning style is to help us develop deeper understanding to see that everything that happens is or has good will inside, so or such that we can meet the moment and know what is not real–to know it beyond a doubt. This world is the disease state itself, we need to know that clearly.
All we can do is know what is not real, and stay together with it, the longer we can stay then that can start real creativity; but usually Universal creativity can’t work because we hold onto our “I am” or our ego existence so tightly that it leaves no room for Life or Creativity. When we can set the burden of our [singular] life down then we can understand more about the wholeness of our Life; not by carrying our burdens on our head or shoulders, but set them down and rest–don’t make a meaning or react to our burdens, which increases the attachments–simply enjoy our life [as-it-is]. When we are not so connected or a slave to our emotions then we can be more stable, more whole.
What is it that we are afraid of? perhaps it is our emotions, fear, or suffering, but that is an emotional reaction. When we can see the gaps between what we think is real we can see that it is not clear, not whole, not real and therefore does not effect us . . . . So Life is a great “Gift center” for us–have gratitude for all; when we can see with gratitude it is opportunity to continue to meet the not real, to not turn away or deny it. Buddha had pain in his life, just his relationship to it was different, he did not hold it. YH explains that the “reclining Buddha” position was because, “He had pain and lying on his side was most comfortable for him.”
In our life we try to use the same key for all locks, which it winds up that even though the tool we use–the action of doing–has some value, it is not for everything because it is partial/limited, it is the wrong tool to use for [realizing] the Whole.
When we meet each moment, that is beyond time: then one day can be more than our lifetime or more than twenty or thirty years . . . . Therefore continue to meet all as it happens, then when the moment of “death” arrives we can be conscious and we can learn a big thing–our consciousness continues; even if a bomb blows us up if we have the correct intention we have enough time to learn [about life; although perhaps not if the bomb is going off in less than ten-seconds] . . . .
I have maintained a private practice in West Los Angeles using the Art of TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) to help people since 2000. The specific emphasis of the practice is on any of the general medicine issues that TCM provides care for, but mental/emotional, chem. dependency, women’s health, or chronic pain syndromes are welcomed. I also presently serve as a clinical supervisor in the Yo San and ECTOM student intern clinics.
Along with that I have been continuing my investigation into Health and Living w/ regular meditation, Tai Qi/Qi Gong, and other forays into the semi-transparent waters of our daily reality in metro LA.
Fritz Hudnut, DAOM, L.Ac.
Doctor of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine
1976 S. Sepulveda Blvd., WLA, CA
Hours: by appointment
For appt.: 424-259-1577